Daring to Stand Out: The Courage to Not Fit In

Westmont College

Pastor Shirley Mullen

September 30, 2024

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Main Topics Discussed

Introduction

• Gratitude to Scott and the musicians for their uplifting contributions

• Acknowledgment of Evan’s point about the joy of the Lord being present regardless of life’s circumstances

• Personal introduction and connection to Westmont College: 29 years old when starting, with 23 years on campus

• Introduction of Dr. Paul Mills and mention of the book "Claiming the Courageous Middle"

The Origin of the Concept of Not Quite Fitting

• Story of a former student, "Margaret," who expressed her struggle with not fitting in after leaving Westmont

• Felt out of place at work as a "religious fanatic" and at church as a "radical heretic"

• Emphasized that this was before societal polarization became widely recognized

• Responded by suggesting that not quite fitting might be her greatest gift to others

• Challenging stereotypes about Christians

• Inspiring others to go deeper in their faith and understanding

Invitation to the Adventure of Not Quite Fitting

• Call for the audience to embrace this adventure of not quite fitting to glorify God and serve the church and the world

• Recognizing that a Westmont education prepares students for this challenge

• Highlighting that this journey isn't just about the future but starts now, even on campus

The Challenge of Not Quite Fitting in a Christian Community

• Expectation that a Christian college would mean automatic agreement on beliefs and practices

• The reality that even among Christians, there will be differences, making it hard to find where you fit

• Emphasizing that this is an apprenticeship in learning to listen, grow, and share with others who think differently

The Courageous Middle: Not About Geographic Space but Relationship

• The concept of the courageous middle isn’t about being in the center but about engaging with people on both sides

• Choosing to be a person of the courageous middle means not running away, going silent, or trying to please everyone

Biblical Examples of Not Quite Fitting

• Introduction to five biblical characters who did not quite fit:

• Moses: Hebrew child raised in the Egyptian palace

• Joseph: Younger brother sold into slavery

• Esther: Jewish orphan who became queen in a Persian court

• Daniel: Prisoner of war serving in a foreign king's court

• St. Paul: Pharisee and Roman citizen turned follower of Jesus

• Encouragement to read and reflect on their stories as examples of embracing the adventure of not quite fitting

Application: Embracing Your Unique Story

• Just as these biblical characters had unique stories, so do you

• God wants to use your particular story with all its complexities and challenges

• Preparation for this journey includes developing your identity grounded in being God's child

• This is the prime purpose of your Westmont education

Cultivating the Courageous Middle in Your Life

• The importance of practicing and preparing now for when you will be called to not quite fit

• Preparation Steps:

• Choose friends who call the best out of you, like Daniel did

• Commit to your studies as Paul did, to prepare for future opportunities

• Find mentors who can guide and support you, like Esther’s uncle Mordecai

• Develop habits that keep you connected to God, as Joseph did even in difficult circumstances

• Have honest conversations with God, just as Moses did

Living Out the Courageous Middle Right Now

• Encouragement to go deep into your Westmont education and develop your gifts

• Invest in building a community that challenges and supports you

• Practice humility and curiosity, engaging in conversations with those who think differently

The Adventure of Not Quite Fitting

• The goal is to become a person of the courageous middle, bringing your whole self to God's purposes

• Recognize that not fitting in can be an exciting and adventurous journey

Conclusion: A Prayer for Courage and Imagination

• Encouragement to push each other to become modern-day Moseses, Josephs, Esthers, Daniels, and St. Pauls

• Prayer for God to grant courage and imagination to fully embrace the adventure of not quite fitting

• Ending with a hopeful, "May it be so. Amen."

Biblical References 

• Genesis 50:20: "You intended this for evil, but God intended it for good."

• Quoted while discussing Joseph's story, emphasizing how he viewed his hardships and saw God's purpose in them.

• Exodus 4:10: "No, God. Not me. Not me. I'm not an eloquent speaker. Please ask my brother Aaron."

• Quoted during the discussion of Moses's conversation with God when called to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, demonstrating Moses's honest dialogue with God about his own insecurities.

Reflection Questions

1. In what areas of your life do you feel like you don't quite fit in, and how might God be using this to shape your story for His purpose?

2. How can you challenge the stereotypes others might have about Christians through your actions, words, or the way you engage with those around you?

3. Think of a time when you tried to conform to a particular group or expectation. What did you learn from that experience, and how might God be calling you to embrace your uniqueness instead?

4. How can you cultivate relationships, both in your faith community and beyond, that encourage you to grow and challenge you in your journey of "not quite fitting"?

5. What steps can you take to be more courageous in sharing your faith and story, even if it means standing in the "courageous middle" and not fitting neatly into any category?

Daily Activities 

1. Embracing Your Uniqueness

• Activity: Write a personal reflection about a time when you felt like you didn’t quite fit in.

• Application: Identify the strengths and unique perspectives this experience brought into your life. Commit to sharing one of these strengths with someone this week, demonstrating how your uniqueness can be a gift.

2. Engaging with Different Perspectives

• Activity: Intentionally engage in a conversation with someone who has a different viewpoint on a topic that matters to you.

• Application: Approach the conversation with curiosity and a desire to learn, asking questions and seeking to understand their perspective without judgment.

3. Challenging Stereotypes

• Activity: Identify one stereotype that people often have about your faith, profession, or personal background.

• Application: Find a way to break this stereotype in your interactions this week, either through actions, conversations, or sharing your story in a way that challenges others' assumptions.

4. Building a Supportive Community

• Activity: Reach out to a friend or mentor and share an area where you feel you don’t quite fit.

• Application: Invite them to offer encouragement, advice, or prayer, and offer to support them in an area where they may feel the same, creating a supportive network for one another.

5. Practicing Courage in Faith

• Activity: Identify one situation where you tend to stay silent or conform to fit in, whether it's at work, church, or with friends.

• Application: Take a small step to courageously express your authentic thoughts, values, or beliefs in that context this week, trusting that God can use your voice in that space.